Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Day 8

I room with a crazy little eastern european man. He won't tell anyone what country he's from and no one can figure out what language he's speaking. He definitely busted out some Italian a few days ago, but only a sentence or two. I'm only guessing that he's eastern european. He's about 5 feet tall but has a gigantic head.

What I do know is that he's probably going home today and, given the amount of cologne he has (I'm only guessing) sprayed around the room with a firehose just for the occassion, I think that's a really good thing. Then again, who knows what I'll get for a replacement.

Side effects of little european man's cologne:
Headache, nausea, general discomfort.
Side effects of arsenic treatment:
Headache, nausea, having to room with little european man.

Has anyone ever told you "I'm getting your arsenic?" If so, I hope you ran away. I'm plugged into the wall. Plus I probably couldn't run that fast. Instead I demanded drugs.

Today's exciting news:

- I apparently have too much phospherous in my blood. Do you think that means I glow in the dark? Cause I think it does. I'm gonna go test that theory.

- I need an MRI. But I hear you ask why. I did too. Well the answer is that I have a headache. Here in the land of modern medicine, that means something has gone horribly wrong. Nothing has actually gone horribly wrong, but they need to test for the horribly wrong thing that hasn't, in fact, gone. Confused? Don't tell anyone in a hospital because they'll sign you up for an MRI.

Favorite quote of the day: "Blame the catholic church for not letting me wear one of those little rubber things."

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